God has the cutest ways to let us know that he hasn’t forgotten about us.  He’ll send someone our way to be kind, a phone call will come just as we need it or we’ll read something so RIGHT ON TIME with your thoughts that no doubts or questions have room to enter in.

Over the past few days there have been a parade of God winks in my life. For a long time, I thought that God had forgotten about me, and then a peaceful thought came to me “Remember who you are!” This thought came out of the blue as I was comfortable in my negative self talk.  When life blind sides me I feel like my radar should have been razor sharp.  Having a stroke in my sleep and surviving that trauma is no small life event to overcome.

Everything was interrupted: confidence, esteem, drive, career, personal life, everything!  All the traits that made me ME turned topsy. But then a whispering in my spirit came to me one day, stating “Remember who you are.  You are who I SAID that you are.  You can have the things I SAID that you can have.  MY WORD is alive and active.  I never speak things into the atmosphere that don’t come to pass.  When your negativity rises in your thoughts/actions just stop a moment to remember who you are in me.  Live that truth every day and keep watch.”

I’m not going to let the cat out of the bag too soon about what’s going on in my life so THAT will have to be a separate post. And since I’ll most likely be busy with Academy Award parties tomorrow, here is my Sitar a day early.

Saturday [usually Sunday] Sitar.
I’ve been reading many publications about personal development.  If we stop working on ourselves we become uninteresting.  While I don’t mean to be the conscience for others at all, I do mean for people to have a pleasant experience whenever they encounter me.  Light after all is better than darkness.  Although darkness, like all things, has it’s purpose it just has no purpose with me.  Was that corny?

Well regardless, I literally stumbled upon the writings of Jiddu Krishnamurti who was widely known for his philosophical and spiritual thoughts and teachings.  He rejected the notion of being a guru or leader, which I admire.  All that he wanted was to think critically about things that concern all of us every day.  He pointed to the need for bringing to our daily lives a deeply meditative and spiritual quality.  He was not interested in beginning a movement.  Because I find his thought process interesting I’d like to share just a few excerpts of his philosophies on Skillfulness and Clarity from his book The Wholeness of Life.

We have become very skillful in dealing with our daily life; skillful, in the sense of being clever in applying a great deal of knowledge which we have acquired through education and experience.


…skill becomes, through repetitive action, routine.  Skill, when it is highly developed – as it should be – leads to self-importance and self-aggrandizement. Skill has brought us to our present state, not only technologically, but in our relationships, in the way we deal with each other – not clearly, not with compassion, but with skill. 


Is there an action, in our daily life, which is skillful yet which does not perpetuate the self, the me, which does not give importance to one’s self-centered existence?  To answer that one has to inquire into what clarity is; when there is clarity there is action which is skillful and which does not perpetuate the self.


Clarity exists only when there is freedom to observe. One is only capable of observing, looking, watching, when there is complete and total freedom; otherwise there is always distortion in the observation.


As long as there is the center as the me, every action must be distorted. Acting from a center you’re giving a direction, and that direction is distortion. You may develop a great skill in this way but it is always unbalanced, inharmonious. Now, can consciousness with its movement undergo a radical transformation, a transformation not brought about by will. Will is desire, desire for something and when there is desire there is a motive, which is again a distorting factor in observation.

Have a great week!

I must share the awesome evening that I had last night.  A dear friend of mine, G, invited me to join her and a few other fabulous women at a gospel competition called How Sweet The Sound, sponsored by Verison Wireless, my cell phone carrier [as I say with a puffed out chest as if Verizon were my brain child.]  Fifteen years ago Verizon Wireless used to be called AirTouch cellular.  Yes that’s how long I’ve been a loyal customer [Again with arrogant pride as if …]

Run on sentence alert:
Anywhoo, the competition was held at the Great Western Forum, former home of the LA Lakers and the genesis of this event happened  in Memphis in 2007 and spread nationwide in 2008 marking a new way to celebrate the gospel and church music genre.  It was hosted by Grammy winner Donald Lawrence and Lisa Kimmey-Winans.  Both were fantastic hosts.  Pre show there were Concourse activities like Karaoke, other performances and original artwork displayed.  As we waited 20 minutes for the show to begin, there were two jumbotrons that displayed a few hilarious Karaoke performances.  The background of the Karaoke area was the projection of a gospel choir so that when you watched each performer embarrass themselves on camera render us a selection, it appeared as though they were accompanied by a choir.  Great visual affect. The American Idol auditions pails in comparison to the Karaoke[rs] from last night.  Classic!  I only wish I had the forethought to use my Blackberry to videotape those folks to add visuals to this post.  Truely sidesplitting. Oh well.  The celebrity judges were Marvin Sapp and Trin-i-tee 5:7.  For those of you who don’t know, these folks are gospel celebrities.

We got the hook up for real!  As we entered the building and walked down to floor seats in the front row.  I mean the artists could see the pupils of our eyes.  I am gushing about these seats [not because I’ve not experienced this before] but  because sometimes when folks offer comp tickets they are the boo boo seats [where binoculars are required].  I’ve experienced both types of “hook ups.”  While the boo boo seats are appreciated, come on, floor/camera seats lead to better stories.  And I’ve discovered than when my men offer comp tickets the seats are a reflection of one’s status in the relationship.  When women offer comps the seats are always the best in the house.  So thanks to G’s friend Adrian to my left was Steveland Morris [Stevie Wonder] who sang his ass off gave us a brief selection, Rodney Jerkins [music producer] and to my right was Kelly Price who also sang her ass off gave us a brief selection as well.

I’ve been out of the music scene for many years.  My mom was a popular local gospel artist, I grew up singing in my ‘young peoples’ church choir called The Voices of Inspiration.  That experience opened many doors as we were perpetually requested to sing at local, churches, events.  Also from The Voices several secular artists/musicians were born and thrived in the music industry [those stories will make an interesting feature film one day. The politics of the Pentecostal denomination.  But I digress]. And many of my college friends started careers at record labels after graduation from which I benefited.  I randomly ran into one of my oldest friends, from that time, as the concert was ending.  That was a  pleasant surprise.  I made a new friend,  J [who let me eat many of her M&M’s] and she’s a brand new blogger.  Another surprise. Of course I’ll tell her all about SITS when the reverberation of music isn’t blaring into my ears.  But, again,  I digress.

At first I was concerned about having “camera seats” because people still stare at me when I walk by them and since the indoor and outdoor temperatures were chilly the muscles on my left side began to retract which causes my extremities[ hand,wrist,leg] curl into my body which makes me function and look like a severely handicapped person [no disrespect to the community]. I’m still learning to train my muscles to relax in all climates.  My muscles are always relaxed in warm weather which makes my mobility more normal.

But I must share the best surprise of the evening, in one of my earlier blogs I discussed my struggle with my faith and due to that struggle my self imposed exodus from church blah, blah, blah… How I constantly wept during praise and worship.  Well last night despite my positioning in the venue, I didn’t get emotional at all!  The choirs were anointed and powerful but I didn’t bawl out of control shed a tear.  I danced in my chair, the whole night, and cheered them on from my seat while everyone else took up around me partying.  Good for them! At the end of the show ALL choirs came to the stage [in a we are the world kind of way] to sing the final song.  My friends all stood up around me singing, clapping and swaying.  I sat there not wanting to look crazy since I can’t clap, my rhythm is off, and my pitch and tone is off [this I found out at a Karaoke party.  Very embarrassing, but whatever].  I know you’re saying stop blaming the stroke you probably could never carry a tune.  Actually I used to have a beautiful voice (boo hoo).

I thought I conquered this insecurity when another dear friend Dr. D took me house dancing months ago. And he danced with me as if I were doing the Cabbage Patch, the running man, the pent state and the whop.  Ugghrrr those dances have now played out.   Well he danced with me as if I had no impairments. But Noooooooooooo THAT didn’t squelch my insecurity at all.  It made me more aware of my limitations.  So since then, I haven’t gotten myself into situations where dancing, swaying, singing and clapping were in the midst.  Silly right?

However, G, as if she was sick of me just sitting there, pulled me to stand up to join everyone else in agreement and celebration of who we are in Christ.  I realized that I have forgotten to remember that!  That was the best thing I remembered who I am and no tears shed!!! The thing about being Christian is we are aware of the God that resides within us which makes us: The head, not the tail, Lenders not borrowers, Entrepreneurs, Healed/Healthy/Happy people, Highly Favored, Archivers, Winners, Sane, & Blessed.

Now why did I ever forget that? Temporary insanity?  Who knows?  Besides who cares, dance as if no one is watching…

Baby steps.